


lean on

by waldkind



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, POV Iwaizumi Hajime, Pining, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 17:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13128327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waldkind/pseuds/waldkind
Summary: Oikawa's hair is half a handspan longer than Hajime remembers. He turns the volleyball in his hands, then, looks up, eyes burning golden, hit by sunlight at just the right angle. Hajime drops into a receiving position in the back of the court. He takes a deep breath before Oikawa runs up, tossing, leaps, connects- and the ball comes shooting down, lightning-quick, with arm-ripping force, aimed just at the edge of the court. Precise and powerful. Hajime moves reflexively, on instinct, and dives for the ball.Tooru and Hajime play against each other for the first time.





	lean on

Oikawa's hair is half a handspan longer than Hajime remembers. He turns the volleyball in his hands, then, looks up, eyes burning golden, hit by sunlight at just the right angle. Hajime drops into a receiving position in the back of the court. He takes a deep breath before Oikawa runs up, tossing, leaps, connects- and the ball comes shooting down, lightning-quick, with arm-ripping force, aimed just at the edge of the court. Precise and powerful. Hajime moves reflexively, on instinct, and dives for the ball. It hits his arms, pressed together tightly, with a satisfying smack. The crowd cheers as the ball flys up high in direction of the net. Hajime fixes his eyes on the ball, no time to look at Oikawa yet. Hajime feels a grin pull at his lips, heart racing, energy rushing in his limbs.

Suga gets beneath the ball quickly. His set-up is not as swift as Oikawa's, of course, when it comes to Hajime's preference, but his tosses are solid and reliable. The training in university had even challenged Hajime who was already used to Seijou's rigorous practices. They improved his speed, increased the strength of his muscles just a bit. But it's often that bit that counts, Hajime thinks grimly, briefly revisiting Oikawa's and his last high school game together. He jumps up quickly, running up with two of his teammates. Suga sets the ball, hands used to the motions, to Hajime who slams the ball down where the blockers had messed up their timing, making way for Hajime's and Suga's delayed back attack. His feet touch the floor and Hajime pumps his fist in victory, high-fiving Suga. Then he finally allows himself to look at Oikawa, who has been dancing in and out of his focus, that strange magnetic pull.

Hajime can't help but snort (part relieved, maybe) as he sees Oikawa's expression, caught between frustration and a wolfish-kind of grin. Fondness bubbles up in Hajime's chest. He winks at Oikawa and blows him a kiss, unthinking. Oikawa's eyes widen, mouth falling open. Suga's giggle rings in Hajime's ears. Hajime partly regrets it- what is he _doing_? He turns away from Oikawa, the other side of the net, when blood rushes to his face, feeling giddy and trying to control his expression into something stone-like.

Hajime receives some praise from his new captain, a clap on the back and forces himself to concetrate on the game. Letting the rush of that receive and that first point take him, he pushes thoughts of Oikawa's shocked expression and everything that has been going on between them for months now away (years, even, maybe, most likely, _definetly_ ), into a corner of his mind, hopefully never to be seen again as all the other unthought thoughts about Oikawa, about Tooru, those that cross a boundary, those that Hajime never voices.

Hajime's team takes the first set. In general, he's content with his performance today. Oikawa's presence still distracts him, especially when he serves or sets or - does anything, really. Some time or other he's so concentrated on Oikawa that he lets himself be lured into blocking the wrong spot. In the breaks between sets, Hajime talks to Suga. They'd been quick to like each other, not only because of their shared love for volleyball and tofu but also because they both know what it means to take responsibility for your team. Suga turned out to have a personality far less bland and reserved than Hajime expected in the beginning when they were still on opposite sides of the court. He lets his gaze stray towards the other side of the net.

"I didn't realize you and Oikawa were together. How long has it been?", Suga asks, leaning his elbow on Hajime's shoulder casually, grinning in his face. Hajime blinks. Once, twice.

"What", he says, voice not even tilted to make it into a question, feeling his neck tingle uncomfortably as if everyone is staring at him. He resist his urge to turn around to Oikawa, to check if he could have heard.

At his reaction, Suga raises an eyebrow, mockingly, before he stares at Hajime as if he's the weirdest thing he's seen all day.

"Wait", he pauses, "you're … not?"

"No", Hajime hisses, trying qo be quiet.

"Sorry, I just…", Suga says back, not as loud this time. Hajime is grateful for that. He still feels far too naked, exposed, _found out_.

"You're really not?"

At Hajime's scowl, Suga raises his hands defensively.

"The way you… I mean I probably wouldn't have asked if you didn't blow him that kiss today", Suga finishes.

Hajime resists the urge to face-palm. Now he _really_ regrets doing that.

"Oikawa is not… like that", Hajime says, lamely.

"Not like what? Gay?"

The word seems to make Hajime's skin crawl. 

"I don't want to talk about it", Hajime replies, far too honest for his own taste for once.

Suga nods and gives him a smile that's almost motherly, clapping Hajime's shoulder. He turns around, probably a bit too fast to look normal, to check if anyone could have overheard their conversation. Instead he catches Oikawa's eyes across the court, that famliar brown, now dark in a way Hajime can't quite place (doesn't want to place). He holds Oikawa's gaze, even with guilt twisting in his stomach as he thinks about his and Suga's… conversation topic.

They're best friends, after all, it shouldn't be like this, he shouldn't feel like this. That guy from- Nekoma, was it?- with the messy black hair leans on Oikawa who turns to him as if coming out of a trance. The guy's cheshire grin reminds Hajime of Hanamaki and Matsukawa. He says something close to Oikawa's ear, then looks at Hajime, his grin widening.

Hajime raises an eyebrow at him, _what about it?_ , before turning away. Who knows what Oikawa told that guy about him. He trusts Oikawa not to taint his reputation too badly but still can't begin to imagine how and if Oikawa talks about him at all to his new teammates.

Oikawa's team takes the second set, his serves stronger and sharper than ever. As Oikawa scores with another service ace Hajime is caught between growling in frustration and simple admiration for Oikawa's skill. When Oikawa lands and drags the bottom of his shirt across his sweaty face, panting, eyes burning with intensity, Hajime has to force himself to look away from Oikawa's pale chest.

The third set feels like it draws out forever. All of Hajime's reserves seem to be used up at the halfway point, Oikawa's team in the lead. He's proud of himself that he remained on the court for the whole game so far, since he's only a first year. So did Oikawa. We worked hard for this, Hajime thinks with this strange mix of pride and something softer and harder to grasp, slipping through his fingers like silk.

They're at a deuce, 31 points on both sides. It's Hajime's turn to serve. He pushes the ball down with as much power as is left in his body. The libero picks it up but the ball's force is too great, it comes flying back to Hajime's side. The team captain receives it. The ball arcs towards the front line where Suga is positioned. Hajime runs up with three of his teammates, shouting before jumping. Suga's hands are in a setting motion before he just… dumps the ball over the net. There's wild shouting somewhere from the right. Hajime makes out Karasuno's fromer captain and ace, both yelling for Suga who turns to smile at them.

Just one more point. Hajime tosses the ball up again, serving it so that it just catches the net. Oikawa picks it up, barely reaching the ball in time. In the end, it's Hajime's new team captain that scores the final point by spiking the ball closely to the blockers and wins the game.

The glow of victory in Hajime's chest is as good as it's always been, only some melancholy in his heart that whispers: "If you had won with Oikawa, spiked his toss, it might've been even better". And Hajime is fine with that. He didn't expect this to go so smoothly (well, maybe except that talk with Suga and -he winces- that kiss blown) or without any ache at all, remembering Oikawa's words that night, their promise of sorts.

Hajime mindlessly shakes the hands of his opponents until a certain smell hits his nose, familiar, homey, sweaty and sweet. Oikawa extends his hand towards him, long-fingered and slender, elegant. Hajime blinks up to see Oikawa staring down. Hajime hadn't exactly avoided looking at him in the last set but he also didn't allow himself to stare, it just felt too much to look at him, somehow.

Oikawa's hands feels strangely heavy in his, he still isn't looking at Hajime. "Good game, Iwa-chan", Oikawa says, that grin back on before squeezing Hajime's hand and Hajime thinks _shit_ as he realizes, as he notices... _I don't want to let go_.

He coughs to cover it up, his heart beating so fast in his chest, worrying his eartips are as pink as Oikawa's (wait- why are they pink?), fixing them with his stare, somewhat fascinated, as he responds: "Yeah, you, too", voice sounding scratchy.

Keep it together, Hajime, come on, he tells himself, offering Oikawa a genuine smile. Oikawa just stares at... Hajime's hair though. Hajime watches the bob of Oikawa's adam's apple, the lithe line of his neck as he swallows - why, Hajime isn't sure, as they finally let each other's hands go at the same time.

Hajime feels all weird, straining for the next game to let out all this twisted-up energy. It's the last game today for Oikawa. Hajime hopes he can take the loss, then chides himself for even raising the question. They'll just need a little time to get used to this. Hajime thinks he won't get used to this, with the strange feeling that he isn't thinking about volleyball anymore.

Partners, on court and off, he reminds himself, trying and failing to ignore the flutter in his stomach that sometimes occurs when he thinks of them, when he thinks of him.

During the next game Hajime gives his all quite mindlessly. At an especially powerful serve, he hears that voice he'd pick from a million voices. Oikawa yells some combination of "Iwa-chan" and "yes, yes, go!". As the ball slams down on the other side, a no-touch-ace, Hajime can't help but turn to Oikawa, grin stretching impossibly wide across his face, thrusting his fist up in the direction of Oikawa who, already in casual clothes and hair pulled back into some kind of ponytail, Hajime notices, distracted, throws the bro-fist right back, his smile so genuine it's blinding.

In the periphery of his vision Hajime recognizes Kuroo (Hajime remembered his name) still grinning that grin the Matsukawa-Hanamaki-duo used to tell him and Oikawa they were behaving especially - _yeah, especially what, Hajime?_ , a voice in his mind shout-whispers, frantic and as breathy as Hajime feels. Hajime chooses to ignore it, getting ready for the next serve.

The game is a success. This team wasn't hardly as difficult to beat as Oikawa's, Hajime thinks with that fond pride he always had for Oikawa. He and his team head to change after this last game of the day.

"Oikawa was really focused on you this game", Suga remarks with a smile that Hajime isn't sure is meant to be kind or devillish (probably the latter).

Hajime merely shrugs. Suga rolls his eyes.

"Do you want to get some ramen with the team? Daichi and Asahi might be joining us."

Hajime perks up at the first name. Suga's friend is a solid guy with an impressive attitude, in Hajime's opinion, and plays volleyball at university level as well, apparently in the same team as Ushijima.

"Or are you going with Oikawa?"

Hajime tries to look emotionless. He still feels a dull sense of shame. _Gay_.

"Yeah. We haven't met since uni started, really."

Suga nods. "Of course." Then he adds: "And don't worry, I think no one but me noticed". And with another one of his smiles he claps Hajime's shoulder as if rewarding him for something.

Hajime feels his face heat up again. _No one but me noticed_. Suga leaves with a wave.

Shit, Hajime thinks, pressing his hands over his eyes. Had he been that obvious? He had resigned himself to this silent denial for years, why did another scarily perceptive person need to enter his life? Oikawa most likely knows anyway. If Suga is perceptive, Oikawa is a mind reader.

The thought doesn't comfort Hajime at all. It only makes it worse, guessing that Oikawa has mapped out his feelings for him and chosen to ignore them. To keep them safe. Not to destroy their friendship like Hajime does, blowing kisses and dreaming of a closeness they can't have.

Still, he changes quickly, not wanting to make Oikawa wait. He hates to admit it but he has missed Oikawa. _As a friend,_ his mind adds cautiously. Hajime leaves through the door, bag across his shoulder.

There Oikawa stands, at the bottom of the stairs. He hasn't noticed Hajime yet. This time, Hajime allows himself to stare. The slope of his nose, the eyes he knows so well in every emotional state, now shining amber in the sunset, his light skin glowing. His shirt fits tight across broad shoulders on his slim, tall frame. And Oikawa really braided himself a small ponytail, brown hair falling down in waves around his face. It should look ridiculous but it doesn't, it's definetly not a look he expected Oikawa to try .

A lot of things haven't been as expected lately. Hajime's revelation came to him slowly over years and years spent together. He wonders again if Oikawa knows, concluding he most definetly does. Has known for years. His realitzation is calm. _No more hiding._

He lets out an audible breath, steeling himself for whatever is to come. Oikawa turns to him, light like a halo around is long, long hair.

"Iwa-chan."

Oikawa takes a step up, towards Hajime, reaching out with the hand Hajime wants to hold, before thinking better of it and letting it sink, looking slightly embarrassed. Cute, Hajime's mind comments nonsensically.

"What did you do to your hair?", Oikawa asks, voice almost sounding teasing already.

It's a cover-up. However uncovering it would be too overwhelming, too hard to handle.

"My hair? ...oh", Hajime says as he threads his fingers through it. "Not hedgehog-like enough to make fun of anymore?", he asks with a grin. It's still spiky though, it's just shorter at his nape, an undercut. He almost expects a teasing remark like: "Trying to steal some of my fangirls? That won't work!".

Then, Oikawa answers, surprising everybody, apparently even himself: "I like it."

Hajime catches himself quickly, even if his eyes went round for a second or so.

"Yeah, right, Trashykawa", he snorts in disbelief, walking down the stairs.

"Iwa-chan! I mean it", Oikawa whines.

Hajime just laughs. They didn't do this- compliments and physical closeness were rare between them, trust and understanding being enough to sustain their friendship.

Suddenly, though, Oikawa is at Hajime's elbow, clinging to his shirt.

"For real, Iwa-chan", this time more quiet and serious.

Hajime forces himself to shrug. "It's just hair", he says, honest as ever.

Their relationship is apparently growing new buds and Hajime can't guess the blossoms' color yet or if they will flourish at all. Maybe he could tell if he looked closely enough but the truth is huge and terrifying and beautiful. Coward, a voice whispers, as Oikawa presses into his side like he hasn't done in a long time, warm, solid, _inviting_.

Hajime almost shakes his head to shoo away these thoughts, rain clouds hanging in his head, low and full, waiting for the downpour, muddying his focus with fuzzy feelings that resemble longing just a bit too much. The thoughts remain, so persistently there, like Oikawa's presence in his life, stretching from past to future.

"I meant it, though", Oikawa says, sounding a bit breathless and desperate.

Hajime remembers that summer afternoon, sharing watermelon in the backyard at 15, a bittersweet memory. Maybe Oikawa isn't only talking about his hair anymore.

Hajime looks at him but has to turn away. Oikawa's breath is hot on his neck, him leaning just slightly down (damn that height difference).

"Iwa-chan", Oikawa calls out again, managing to convey both insecurity and determination.

When Hajime turns to him now, he feels the heavy weight of Oikawa's gaze on him, down, down to his lips. Something inside his chest unravels, raw, the desire to _just touch_ reaching the surface, leaking out of Hajime's own lips, parting, maybe to say something sensible to get them back down to earth, to safe, known ground but- all thought leaves Hajime's mind, just dissolves, as Oikawa's mouth, warm and minty, presses against his.

It's chaste, no more than a peck. They pull back, Oikawa's fingers now at his tailbone, the other hand clutching at Hajime's arm so tight it almost hursts, volleyball-callouses pressing into Hajime's skin, set aflame.

They stare at each other, brown to green for mere seconds, and both dive back in at the same time, pushing and pulling at each other. Hajime grabs a handful of Oikawa's stupidly beautiful hair, tilting his head to the side, as his tongue touches Oikawa's lips. Fireworks start behind his eyelids, brain turned to mush. Some organ in his stomach area twists in pleasure and sheer want when Oikawa lets out a broken whimper, deepening the kiss.

The Kiss, Hajime's mind unhelpfully parrots, as Oikawa moves to cradle Hajime's face in rough palms, carefully, as if Hajime's something precious. Their chests are pressed flush against each other. _I'm kissing Oikawa Tooru_ , Hajime's brain states, simple, true, overwhelming.

They part, breathing hard, staring at each other in wonder as if they were seeing each other in full for the first time ( _maybe they are_ ) before they burst out laughing, relieved and happy, golden sunshine bubbling up.

"I can't believe this is happening", Oikawa whispers. "Neither can I". They grin at each other.

Tucking a stray strand of hair behind Hajime's ear, Oikawa says: "Don't let Refreshing-kun flirt with you anymore. I already had to take one loss today".

Hajime snorts, half in disbelief, half in amusement.

"He wasn't flirting with me, dumbass. He asked if we were together."

Oikawa's mouth falls open, breathing out a little "oh", then he leans his head on Hajime's shoulder, a welcome weight, and lets his hand stroke down Hajime's arms, tentatively interlacing their fingers, a silent question. Hajime answers by tightening the hold. _Yes, most definetly yes._

**Author's Note:**

> I always wondered what it would be like when Iwaizumi and Oikawa play each other for the first time. For now, have this, before Furudate (hopefully) delivers. Hope you enjoyed, constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated.


End file.
